1st of the New Year && idk how to feel about it! As my peers got "wasted" beyond belief, i sat home with my family and jus pondered...I wanted to have a clear mind while the new year made its entrance. Thought about 2009, and wat it has given me, wat it has taken away and wat it has made me realize.
NOW i said i was gonna be real for yall...so heres the REAL SHIT!!!
*turns to j cole* I came in 2009 with high hopes like everyone else in the world. I wanted a successful year, love, happiness and alll that good shit.... and i thought "the world would be mine in '09!!" lmaooo how freakin foolish of me =/ I was with a man who not only cheated, but was abusive.... nah not CB abusive.. but mentally. He controlled my mind in '09. I lost alot of my spunk, alot of my smiles, alot of my happiness. I wasnt on my grind in '09.. but rather my focus was on making a man happy. I lost valuable time in '09.. something i resent till this day!! But my ultimate lost in 09 was my baby...i murdered her * i like to think it was a girl.. jus lemme rock*... 11 weeks, and to my surprise she was in me the whole time...
She was gonna be my inspiration to get right. Maybe she coulda helped us w/ our relationship.. but nah that aint work out. 11 weeks into it... i find out.. tell him.. and was told to leave him out of it.. Can yall believe that shit??!!! This man who made me believe what we had was real, ginuine love... is the same man telling me to lay her to rest. So like an idiot i did.. I left her in 09... but shes always in my heart.. MOMMY loves you... u mean alot to me, and helped me grow.... 11weeks.......
OKAY OKAY!! now with the good stuff... i learned im powerful beyond measure in 09.. I found my inner strength and made it mine in '09! I slowly began to progress! i gained my confidence,and towards the end, i took my life back! I made supervisor at my job * pats my back*, landed a great summer gig, met new people, and moved toward my goals. I left my teenage years in 09..im officially a WOMAN now, and i embraced this new role!
In conclusion... im IN WITH THE NEW and "kickz" the old shiiiiit theee fuck out!! 2010 starts a new decade!! i dont believe in resoultions, but i do believe in change! I want to grow and progress in 2010, concentrate on my education, and leave the knuckleheads in the dust. I know i have something HUGE in store for me this year! I will keep the real people close, and the frauds jus a LITTLE bit closer... daddy aint raise no fool! So if i left you in 09.. 09 is where you will stay in my life... jus another memory!! If you ( and that means YOU too) made it to 2010 with me, hold on to my hand.... we can only go UP from here!! Much LOVE!!
Peace & Love
Beautifullest Bliss
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